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Pakistan Wins! ICC Champions Trophy 2017

I am not much of a cricket follower… but the match was so thrilling that even a non-fan like myself was drawn towards the television.

Honestly, I didn’t (and prob not a lot of people!) have much hopes with it… in our heads..but I am glad that the team didn’t think the same way… I am happy they fought with all their heart! and played brilliantly! well done Team Green!

#PakistanZindabad

 

Aside

Ramadan Kareem!

May this auspicious month bring loads of blessings and happiness to your home!

Be grateful for what you have. Ask for more blessings. This is the month where every good deed’s reward is multiplied! Try to spend as much time as you can in training your mind and body to bear the hardships that will be coming your way. Remember, Ramadan is just training to conquer the worldly desires…The Shaytaan (Devil) is locked up during this month.

The test will begin when Ramadan ends… and he is let out. Practice makes perfect! Goodluck!

your spare time & the real you

It is relatively easier to determine what someone else likes to do. What their personality is, or how they will react to certain situations.

On the other hand, it is extremely difficult to examine what you want your self. Mostly because you are so busy conforming to the norms of society that you sort of loose touch with your self. At least in the cases I have seen.

So I turned to good ole Google again (as I often like to do).

Leisure has been defined as a quality of experience or as free time. Free time is time spent away from business, work, job hunting, domestic chores, and education. It also excludes time spent on necessary activities such as eating and sleeping.

It is not what we do all day. It is essentially the little things we do through out the day-on the side- that define us. Like for me, I started noticing more and more that when I am on my smartphone, I like to watch makeup videos, or scroll through Insta-feed of Fashion bloggers, or make a pattern of fashion trends and guess upcoming trends. In short, it started shaping up and pointing out that I am in love with Glam! (Who isn’t?). But seriously, what you like to do in you spare time is basically what you should be doing all along.

I noticed, for example, my brother; he likes reading financial daily type magazines and he watches the stock market and he invests and he in on top of all things in financial industry. He has involved “finance” in every aspect of his life.

I for one want to leave my work behind. Don’t get me wrong, I really like my job. It is just …cumbersome for me. At the end of the day, when I am re arranging my priorities (as much as health and time allows) Office work is not exactly at the top of that list. When I am at work, I am quick n efficient. I take followups, I am self sufficient. Sometimes I do other people’s work. Because in my head, I am thinking, this is what will define ME as a person and my over all success in life. But comes 5:30 pm and Mama is OUT! I mean it is the first thing I take OFF of my plate (in a sense). My foremost priority is my son! and everything else follows.

After discussing this with my brother, he made me realize that it has not been that way all along. He has developed a consistent and deliberate habit and it was a conscious choice. Not a thing that happened by chance.

Now see, this is when I came to know:

The difference between him & I was The need. The want to be consistent. The effort you put in to make it into a habit. 

During my research I also came across a speaker called Matthew Kelly. I was instantly attracted to his P.O.V. He says:

“Everyday we make choices. Many can seem inconsequential, but one builds upon another and in the end our choices define who we become. Little choices matter because they become the foundation for bigger decisions.”

and then I read about what Jack Ma said. He says, that your time after work (after 6 to when you go to bed) is the time that truly determines your success. Not the 8 hours spent at work.

You have to be spending at least 1 hr on yourself everyday in order to grow and prosper.

So darling, What do you do in your spare time?

 

 

Unforgettable 1st Love

A 22-yr old asked me that question. Like seriously.

She asked: “Hey is it true that you never forget your 1st love?”

Tbh, my first thought was “Exactly HOW OLD does she think I AM?”

But instead I said, “Says who? The 90’s Bollywood movies? I mean no offence to SRK fans, but he single-handedly ruined the perspective of Love of our entire generation and maybe the next.”

“But that’s what they all say…”

I cut her off. “Okay think of it this way. Do you remember your first cellphone? Remember how you were sooooo eager to get one? and you were so happppy and it was the best thing you had bought/your parents had gifted you?”

“Yes but that is a THING. Not feelings towards a HUMAN BEING.”

“Hear me out. You absolutely adore your new 1st phone. And it is the best. Guess what after a few years it starts wearing off.. and then you get a new phone. But you are not quite ready… you are not ready to let go of it yet. So you safely put it away in your dresser’s top drawer…maybe even in a nice pouch. ….and maybe time to time you look at it.

Few years down the road, you may even take it out, show your friends and laugh about how pathetic it was and how your new updated Touch screen phone is so-much-better… with the larger screen and the better OS.

Eventually, you need space in that drawer. For new things. More permanent things. Things that make you happier than that dead body of a phone does. So what do you do?

You

Throw

It

Out

Trust me. You do.

And to have time on your side, after you are DONE living the clueless 20’s…I can ASSURE YOU, that the only reason it may seems impossible is cause you are in the midst of it. Eventually you will be OUT OF IT. And it won’t be such an end of the world.

And being in a desi culture, of course she replied with

“It’s okay I was just WONDERING. I wasn’t asking for myself”.

Of course honey. I was just saying.

 

 

 

Lost hope, Lost Love

My mamma used to tell me “Beta har cheez jannay ki zaroorat nahi” in short that translates to “Ignorance is a bliss”. And boy was she right; in some cases.

When you are starting to freshly experience life as a young adult everything is about the NEW and EXCITEMENT. Things are either Black or White. There is rarely any grey area. I meet girls who are desperate to get married or very much against marriage. When asked about the reason why they feel a certain way they mostly point to instances that have taken place in their personal life, or in their circle (family or friends). They are missing the spark of hope. Hope for happiness, hope for feeling deserving of attention and love.

What I have been noticing in “early to  mid 20s” lot lately is that their idea of life and love and reality is very obscure. Is it the fact that too much knowledge is at hand now for these young women? Are they finding out unnecessary information that really is no business to a girl in her 20’s? all the instagramming and facebooking screwing up perspectives of life. Life doesn’t come with Filters honey, you have to create what you can with what you have available.

They have initially set super high expectations of the way life SHOULD be, and then they feel its too ideal and unrealistic. Something that, the chances of which are very minimal.

I used to feel the same way, and eventually I discovered something. At the turn of ‘adulthood’ I was finally starting to realize the difference. I knew that falling in love (crush) came with a thrill; an unknown…short term relationships were experimental and involved late night chats and shallow promises.

but LOVING continuously was a chore.. (in a good way). In order to love your partner the same amount as yesterday or more you had to struggle every day. every. day.

It is human nature; we tend to start taking things for granted after a while. In a long term relationship …in marriage you have to constantly remind your self of the first few moments of feelings that brought you here in the first place. You have to remind yourself day and night. When you feel down, when you feel like something is not right…

it is like you are planting a seed… and your hands are muddy… and you are sweating… and it is so!much! work! But you have ultimate hope in your heart that it will, in the end, bloom into a beautiful flower… 🙂

So what I am saying is that, happiness in a relationship is not attained in isolation. The daily aspects of “planting a seed of love and effort” are necessary for your input to grow and flourish.

At this point so many girls have said to me “IT is not a one-way traffic. There should be some sort of response from the other party as well”. Yes, you are right, but don’t you think the other person is thinking the same thing? At least start doing something nice, and you will see results…and have hope girls. Have hope. The Universe provides.

What it really means to have a newborn at hand.

A friend of mine had her first baby recently. When she finally got some time to herself, she texted me to ask some questions… important questions that NO ONE tells you about… and you can only begin to fathom once you yourself become a Mommy.

A snippet of conversation between my friend and I:

Me: “Hey, how are you?” 2:00 pm

Friend: “Sleepless. I have slept for a week!” (This is wen her daughter is 6 days old). This  is going to require a lot of change.” 2:34 pm

“Of course, a drastic change of lifestyle. Everything you have known or THINK you know is not going to make sense and it is like starting your life over.In this new role, with such an important responsibility.” 2:35 pm

“She wants to feed every 1 hour! I feel like I am going to die breastfeeding her…I am so sore all the time! Am I a bad mother? I think I want to consider bottle feeding…” 2:35 pm

“You can do what you think is feasible man,  bottle or no bottle; she is your daughter. You are the one staying up all night. YOU get to decide what is and is not good for her. Although I do suggest to try to stretch it a year … or at least 6-8 month of pure breastfeed as it is great for the kid’s health.” 2:36  pm

“I am so FAT. Will I ever get thin again? If I exclusively feed her? Will that work?” 2:45 pm

“It will to a certain extent. But to tone you need to work out-“2:45 pm

“HOW? I NEVER GET ANY TIME…she will ALWAYS be THERE!” 2:46 pm

“Try to make time.. after a while you will see her schedule will start shaping up and she will sleep more. You will get time to yourself” 2:47 pm

“I feel like all I do all day is change diapers and feed her. But I LOVE HER. SO it is all good” 3:05 pm

“I still feel that way. I work full time, and when I am home on the weekends I feel like that is all I am doing! And my son is Potty Trained.” 3:05 pm

“How will I POTTY TRAIN? I don’t know how to do that” 3:08 pm

“In good time things will come to you. All mothers manage to learn somehow”.3:08 pm

“I want to watch a movie, and relaxxxxx” 3:09 pm

“Relaxxx … remember you can’t pour from an empty cup..Do not be shy of asking for help, from your hubby or in laws or your mother or sis.. get some sleep when the baby sleeps. That way you will be up and ready to go next time she is up! You deserve it.”3:10 pm

” This is SO HARD. No one told me anything like this was gonna happen.” 3:11pm

“Yup. Welcome to Motherhood.”3:11pm

“I got to go. She pooped.”  3:23 pm

“Sure babe.” 3:23 pm 

2 days Later:

“Heyyyyy how are youuuu? hows the lil one?”

Last Seen 3:23pm

To be continued…

 

 

Gerard Cosmetics Hydra-Matte Liquid Lipsticks

Instead of all the other very Talked about options available in the market for “soft matte liquid lipsticks” I opted for GC Hydra-Matte Liquid Lipsticks.

It was a sudden and easy decision to make really.. I got 4 of them and they were kind enough to gift me with a gloss in their new packaging with lighting and a mirror on the side of the container 😀 I was over the moOn! The shades I got were 1995, Cher, Mile High, and Invasion. 1995 because I had been reading around blogs for some advice as I was going to order them online and had no real way of testing them. I also realized that it was one of the most famous shades…very wearable and amazing staying power.

I particularly liked the texture of the matte lipstick. It is a very easy to use and not over dry at all. You have enough time to add color to your lips and shape them as you like… and slowly the lipstick dries up into perfection! You just have to be careful with it for like 1 to 2 minutes… and then its good to go for the entire day. I wear Mile High and Cher to work sometimes and it is the only! one in my makeup bag that lasts as long. Literally, I apply it around 8 a.m. I go to work, drink water through out the day, I eat lunch… munching later in the day.. and when I get home around 6:30 7 p.m. IT IS still THERE! Unless of course you eat like… ice lolly or something. .. but yea the point is.. although it comes for a heavy price tag of $20/each, the lasting power justifies it. I have some more easy-on-the-wallet options that cost me under $10. But they don’t last me even half the day. I always have to touch it up. Hence i go out of the product faster.

Another thing I loved about GC was their color range. They offer very different shades that are a bit difficult to find in other brands… Like Invasion. It is the perfect greyish lavender…this is how they describe it:

A GORGEOUS GREY TONED LIQUID LIPSTICK THAT IS AGGRESSIVELY BOLD BUT A COLOR YOU’LL LET INVADE YOUR MAKEUP SPACE. MATTE BUT WITH A VELVETY FINISH THAT IS COMFORTABLE AND CUSHIONY. SURRENDER TO THIS ONE OF A KIND SHADE.”

I was convinced at GREY TONEd….!!! I wear MAC NC35 or NC40 in summers.. had been looking for a grey tone lip color to match my skin tone for a LONG time. I have to say.. it is nOT the usual lipcolor choice for me. BUt oh BOy does it look goooood… I enjoyed it all winter…!!!

I also love finding DUPES. So if you know any Dupes for these shades please comment below!

xox

Kids & Social Anxiety

I have lately been noticing that my son gets uneasy around a large gathering of people. Maybe it is just me, but I could swear that he has developed social anxiety. As a first time mom, I was totally confused how to tackle it.

So I turned to the good ole Google. This is the definition it gave me:

Children and teens with social anxiety disorder have an excessive and persistent fear of social and/or performance situations such as school, parties, athletic activities, and more.

It involved intense self-consciousness and fear of embarrassment… Mostly what i got from google was what my husband kept telling me: “It is all in your head.” In addition, google kept giving lists and lists of symptoms that would go to show that a child really does have social anxiety.

I feel bad for using these terms without actually understanding the depth of them. So I have completely stopped saying it. I can’t imagine people actually having these feelings, and I hope my son or any ones child for that matter, goes through such a horrible ordeal. We use these words so lightly and deliver our diagnosis with no real knowledge of Psychology. It is normal if a child has fear of performing in public. And it is okay if they are fearful of an interaction. We all learn from our mistakes and we as mothers should encourage our kids to move forward and MAKE mistakes… just so we can look back and measure the extent of our learning.

Try not to instill fear of negative evaluation in your child. Always explain the child what they are doing wrong instead of yelling and screaming at them. Trust me they do understand, and if not at first, eventually do respond.

Long story short, I suppose he doesn’t sweat or shake or gets scared… but he does get irritable. WHICH is super irritating for me as well sometimes when I am trying to have an adult conversation with a friend or relative. After a lot of random researching, and discussions with hubby, I was constantly pointed towards the fact that a lot of “Only children” have these symptoms. They are so used to being alone, they prefer to avoid large gatherings, or weddings or play-dates that involve too many kids. Even when I take him to the Play Area at McDonald’s or the mall, he wants me to be within sight range. I guess the children without siblings are not used to the concept of sharing so much. I just hope he grows out of it with age as a lot of mothers have said he will.

*fingers crossed*