Struggles of a Working Homemaker

People like to believe that men and women are equal.

Well. News flash. They are not.

The biggest difference between a man and a woman is that women are, in general, multi-taskers. As difficult as it may be for some girls to tap into it, believe me you have it in yourself to do a bunch of different and totally non related tasks all at once. It just comes naturally to us.

We can be in the worst of our mood swings and yet manage to wake up early, make breakfast, make lunch for the kids, wake the kids up..get them ready for school, wake up hubby.. get ready ourselves, AND THEN get to WORK on time. Yes we are capable of it.

Every day is a struggle! but you gotta hustle.. hustle hard all the time. no matter how difficult it may seem. My advice to all the young women out there is to try and manage a little bit of themselves and add a little ME-TIME in your schedule.

I know you are a Mom, Wife, Daughter but you are a “ME” too.  Do not forget yourself in the midst of these responsibilities.

LIVE your age !!! And adjust your routine to suit YOU. Stop compromising your life and dreams for others. And trust me, right now you would feel that you are doing it (sacrificing) for people you love. Eventually that feeling will turn into resentment. You will regret all the time you wasted slaving away without any appreciation and recognition.

Manage your time smartly. It is possible and many women do it. There is no excuse for you to not work out, read a magazine/book, go out with a friend or wear makeup to work. It is the little things that can lift your mood. Make a schedule and stick to it.

hehe I know some of you want to sleep in, so DO THAT! Do what ever you think would make you Happier and recharge your batteries to work and perform harder and better the next time you go into the pool of responsibilities.

 

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Living the NOW

You know the feeling when you desire something and are just crazy abt it… you wanted it and you wait for it .. and you feel like you won’t be able to live without it and your life is incomplete unless you absolutely have it?

Sometimes you don’t have enough means… You go out of your way to find a way to arrange for the finances and then you save for days or weeks or months.

And then one fine day you finally are able to buy it and you hold it in your hands and you bring it home and then you explore it for a few hours you’re excited about it and you’re very happy for yourself. But then..suddenly you realise you are over it. It is not as special as you thought it would be. The euphoria only lasts a couple days maybe.

How many times has it happened to you? Plenty..

As time is passing and i’m getting older and understanding (or trying to understand) life.. i realized, there is a METHOD.. there is a reasonnnn our parents kept telling us to be happy with what we have. To love and cherish the life that you have NOW.

Live in the present. I once read somewhere on Facebook,

“If you are sad, you are living in the past.
If you are worried, you are living in the future.
If you are content, you are in the present.”

So live, live in the present! stop worrying about little things that others have and you don’t have. I am not saying you shouldn’t work hard to achieve your dreams. But as long as you are living EaCH dAy to its fullesttt! and you know you were as happppy and you possibly could be, you laughed and loved as hard as you could, you were loyal… had food on the table.. and a loving family and friends circle to keep you company.. then you are doing it right.

It does not matter how fast or early you arrive some where.. just try to enjoy each day and you will get there.. in just the right time

To the woman who secretly cried

Now I get it, I understand

What bothered her

Need for Love, need for Attention, need for Pampering

Now I get it, I understand

Why there was no salt in the gravy, Why the rice was burnt, Why the sink was dirty

Now I get it, I understand

What drove her crazy

The resistance, the refusal to change, the running away

Now I get it, I understand

Why she suddenly cried

The Unfinished goals, the incomplete Dreams, the abandoned ambition.

 

Dreams Deadline

How many of us have set deadlines or time limits to our goals and dreams? (Raises hand-guilty)

I always presumed that there is a Cookie Cutter Timeline for all. Same size same shape..  but as I am growing older. . I realise that is not the case at ALL.

Really, it is OK to arrive later than someone else… it is OK to achieve your targets slightly off the timeline. Some things just come with age I guess. With people who have this sort of mentality, life is a constant state of battle. They feel “behind” and under estimate themselves.

But oh Dear, don’t you understand? Your real competition is YOU. You should be comparing yourself not to others but the previous version of yourself. I believe as long as you are striving to be a better person, better version of your self, you are Perfect.

Perfection doesnt have to be a point from where there is no where else to go. It should a place where you think “ok how can I make it better”. As long as you are trying, that is all that matters. The only difference between a loser and a winner is the # of tries. If you keep hustling, you will succeed. Doesn’t matter how long it takes. Don’t judge yourself based on how soon or fast another person “got it”.

God has written many different stories. Your’s doesn’t have to match your neighbors’, or friends or even your siblings. I know many twins. And though their faces are identical, they have led very different lives.

In the midst of comparisons, we have slowly forgot what we wanted. We are so overwhelmed with another person’s success that we start walking on their path. Wait. Wait and think about it, they are happy and successful because they are doing something they love. Something they are good at. And maybe they faced hardships but chose not to let it dictate their life. They chose THeir Dreams and goals and focused on them. Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. Work hard for your dreams and goals. Do what makes you proud and happy.

Take your time.

Don’t stop if you face failure when approaching your dreams.  Take a deep breath and try again.

 

Not just a Mother

Yes. I am a mother. But I am a woman too. I want to tell all the mommies out there that once in a while it is OK to put yourself first.

As a fellow Mommy I understand that raising a baby is a tough! tough job. It requires a 25 hr shift (yea not 24…25) and requires you to be on your toes constantly. And why wouldn’t you be? It is not the most easiest thing to have a part of you walking out n about in the world. When my baby (now 2.5 yr old) was born, it was as if someone had ripped my heart out and given it a life of its own.

But if I were to be completely honest… after a while… the Me inside started speaking up too. She wanted a little independence, a little alone time. Or to be able to finish a movie in one Go. To apply makeup properly when going out…to be able to hold a conversation with your friend..Maybe even a career?

Why is it that every time I hint..not say..HINt at that thought people get offended? What I have figured out for Sure is that Most women feel this way but are too ashamed to admit. They are pushed into a Guilt trip by society..every time they try to convey their desire to have more to life than changing diapers n cooking.

The Alone Time

Out of all the things a woman changes about her lifestyle post children, the one that is missed mostttt is Alone time.

Wearing heels

The pre preg body

Uninterrupted gossip with friends

To me it seems like a thing of the past…. maybe like from prehistoric times? My God. Sometimes I spend most of my day waiting for the clock to strike 6pm and my husband to come home. That way atleast the child’s attention is divided. And it’s OK. Why do I feel bad about it all the time?

Trust me it is (more often than not) other Women who instill the guilt in you. Men rarely respond to such talks.

It is other mothers who are quick to pass judgements. Come ON ladies!! Show some #girllove. We are all in this together. We fight and struggle as if it is a competition. It IS OK to be yourself sometimes, cut back on the chores, relaxxx some. Enjoy the messy house or the dishes in the sink. Do what you think would make you feel better. It could be anything .. go shopping.. or surf facebook..or read a book.

And know this: if you are a happy person who is emotionally in touch with one self… you would definitly proove to be a better mommy! Find something you love and do it regularly to be refreshedddd and rejuvenate…

Find a fellow mommy friend to whine and complain to. We all once in a while need to drop the ‘I have my Sh*t together’ facade.

And one day hopefully.. it would be a thing of routine and not just ‘feminist talks’ as some people put it. It would be normal for moms to have a life of their own too, and it would be OK to leave ur 6 month old go to the salon and get a much needed facial. And maybe, we would stop judging different parenting methods.

Xox

I should go play soccer with my baby now. I think I am abusing the Me-time 😀

 

Inspired by a Post I saw on Facebook…