What it really means to have a newborn at hand.

A friend of mine had her first baby recently. When she finally got some time to herself, she texted me to ask some questions… important questions that NO ONE tells you about… and you can only begin to fathom once you yourself become a Mommy.

A snippet of conversation between my friend and I:

Me: “Hey, how are you?” 2:00 pm

Friend: “Sleepless. I have slept for a week!” (This is wen her daughter is 6 days old). This  is going to require a lot of change.” 2:34 pm

“Of course, a drastic change of lifestyle. Everything you have known or THINK you know is not going to make sense and it is like starting your life over.In this new role, with such an important responsibility.” 2:35 pm

“She wants to feed every 1 hour! I feel like I am going to die breastfeeding her…I am so sore all the time! Am I a bad mother? I think I want to consider bottle feeding…” 2:35 pm

“You can do what you think is feasible man,  bottle or no bottle; she is your daughter. You are the one staying up all night. YOU get to decide what is and is not good for her. Although I do suggest to try to stretch it a year … or at least 6-8 month of pure breastfeed as it is great for the kid’s health.” 2:36  pm

“I am so FAT. Will I ever get thin again? If I exclusively feed her? Will that work?” 2:45 pm

“It will to a certain extent. But to tone you need to work out-“2:45 pm

“HOW? I NEVER GET ANY TIME…she will ALWAYS be THERE!” 2:46 pm

“Try to make time.. after a while you will see her schedule will start shaping up and she will sleep more. You will get time to yourself” 2:47 pm

“I feel like all I do all day is change diapers and feed her. But I LOVE HER. SO it is all good” 3:05 pm

“I still feel that way. I work full time, and when I am home on the weekends I feel like that is all I am doing! And my son is Potty Trained.” 3:05 pm

“How will I POTTY TRAIN? I don’t know how to do that” 3:08 pm

“In good time things will come to you. All mothers manage to learn somehow”.3:08 pm

“I want to watch a movie, and relaxxxxx” 3:09 pm

“Relaxxx … remember you can’t pour from an empty cup..Do not be shy of asking for help, from your hubby or in laws or your mother or sis.. get some sleep when the baby sleeps. That way you will be up and ready to go next time she is up! You deserve it.”3:10 pm

” This is SO HARD. No one told me anything like this was gonna happen.” 3:11pm

“Yup. Welcome to Motherhood.”3:11pm

“I got to go. She pooped.”  3:23 pm

“Sure babe.” 3:23 pm 

2 days Later:

“Heyyyyy how are youuuu? hows the lil one?”

Last Seen 3:23pm

To be continued…

 

 

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Not just a Mother

Yes. I am a mother. But I am a woman too. I want to tell all the mommies out there that once in a while it is OK to put yourself first.

As a fellow Mommy I understand that raising a baby is a tough! tough job. It requires a 25 hr shift (yea not 24…25) and requires you to be on your toes constantly. And why wouldn’t you be? It is not the most easiest thing to have a part of you walking out n about in the world. When my baby (now 2.5 yr old) was born, it was as if someone had ripped my heart out and given it a life of its own.

But if I were to be completely honest… after a while… the Me inside started speaking up too. She wanted a little independence, a little alone time. Or to be able to finish a movie in one Go. To apply makeup properly when going out…to be able to hold a conversation with your friend..Maybe even a career?

Why is it that every time I hint..not say..HINt at that thought people get offended? What I have figured out for Sure is that Most women feel this way but are too ashamed to admit. They are pushed into a Guilt trip by society..every time they try to convey their desire to have more to life than changing diapers n cooking.

The Alone Time

Out of all the things a woman changes about her lifestyle post children, the one that is missed mostttt is Alone time.

Wearing heels

The pre preg body

Uninterrupted gossip with friends

To me it seems like a thing of the past…. maybe like from prehistoric times? My God. Sometimes I spend most of my day waiting for the clock to strike 6pm and my husband to come home. That way atleast the child’s attention is divided. And it’s OK. Why do I feel bad about it all the time?

Trust me it is (more often than not) other Women who instill the guilt in you. Men rarely respond to such talks.

It is other mothers who are quick to pass judgements. Come ON ladies!! Show some #girllove. We are all in this together. We fight and struggle as if it is a competition. It IS OK to be yourself sometimes, cut back on the chores, relaxxx some. Enjoy the messy house or the dishes in the sink. Do what you think would make you feel better. It could be anything .. go shopping.. or surf facebook..or read a book.

And know this: if you are a happy person who is emotionally in touch with one self… you would definitly proove to be a better mommy! Find something you love and do it regularly to be refreshedddd and rejuvenate…

Find a fellow mommy friend to whine and complain to. We all once in a while need to drop the ‘I have my Sh*t together’ facade.

And one day hopefully.. it would be a thing of routine and not just ‘feminist talks’ as some people put it. It would be normal for moms to have a life of their own too, and it would be OK to leave ur 6 month old go to the salon and get a much needed facial. And maybe, we would stop judging different parenting methods.

Xox

I should go play soccer with my baby now. I think I am abusing the Me-time 😀

 

Inspired by a Post I saw on Facebook…