your spare time & the real you

It is relatively easier to determine what someone else likes to do. What their personality is, or how they will react to certain situations.

On the other hand, it is extremely difficult to examine what you want your self. Mostly because you are so busy conforming to the norms of society that you sort of loose touch with your self. At least in the cases I have seen.

So I turned to good ole Google again (as I often like to do).

Leisure has been defined as a quality of experience or as free time. Free time is time spent away from business, work, job hunting, domestic chores, and education. It also excludes time spent on necessary activities such as eating and sleeping.

It is not what we do all day. It is essentially the little things we do through out the day-on the side- that define us. Like for me, I started noticing more and more that when I am on my smartphone, I like to watch makeup videos, or scroll through Insta-feed of Fashion bloggers, or make a pattern of fashion trends and guess upcoming trends. In short, it started shaping up and pointing out that I am in love with Glam! (Who isn’t?). But seriously, what you like to do in you spare time is basically what you should be doing all along.

I noticed, for example, my brother; he likes reading financial daily type magazines and he watches the stock market and he invests and he in on top of all things in financial industry. He has involved “finance” in every aspect of his life.

I for one want to leave my work behind. Don’t get me wrong, I really like my job. It is just …cumbersome for me. At the end of the day, when I am re arranging my priorities (as much as health and time allows) Office work is not exactly at the top of that list. When I am at work, I am quick n efficient. I take followups, I am self sufficient. Sometimes I do other people’s work. Because in my head, I am thinking, this is what will define ME as a person and my over all success in life. But comes 5:30 pm and Mama is OUT! I mean it is the first thing I take OFF of my plate (in a sense). My foremost priority is my son! and everything else follows.

After discussing this with my brother, he made me realize that it has not been that way all along. He has developed a consistent and deliberate habit and it was a conscious choice. Not a thing that happened by chance.

Now see, this is when I came to know:

The difference between him & I was The need. The want to be consistent. The effort you put in to make it into a habit. 

During my research I also came across a speaker called Matthew Kelly. I was instantly attracted to his P.O.V. He says:

“Everyday we make choices. Many can seem inconsequential, but one builds upon another and in the end our choices define who we become. Little choices matter because they become the foundation for bigger decisions.”

and then I read about what Jack Ma said. He says, that your time after work (after 6 to when you go to bed) is the time that truly determines your success. Not the 8 hours spent at work.

You have to be spending at least 1 hr on yourself everyday in order to grow and prosper.

So darling, What do you do in your spare time?




Dreams Deadline

How many of us have set deadlines or time limits to our goals and dreams? (Raises hand-guilty)

I always presumed that there is a Cookie Cutter Timeline for all. Same size same shape..  but as I am growing older. . I realise that is not the case at ALL.

Really, it is OK to arrive later than someone else… it is OK to achieve your targets slightly off the timeline. Some things just come with age I guess. With people who have this sort of mentality, life is a constant state of battle. They feel “behind” and under estimate themselves.

But oh Dear, don’t you understand? Your real competition is YOU. You should be comparing yourself not to others but the previous version of yourself. I believe as long as you are striving to be a better person, better version of your self, you are Perfect.

Perfection doesnt have to be a point from where there is no where else to go. It should a place where you think “ok how can I make it better”. As long as you are trying, that is all that matters. The only difference between a loser and a winner is the # of tries. If you keep hustling, you will succeed. Doesn’t matter how long it takes. Don’t judge yourself based on how soon or fast another person “got it”.

God has written many different stories. Your’s doesn’t have to match your neighbors’, or friends or even your siblings. I know many twins. And though their faces are identical, they have led very different lives.

In the midst of comparisons, we have slowly forgot what we wanted. We are so overwhelmed with another person’s success that we start walking on their path. Wait. Wait and think about it, they are happy and successful because they are doing something they love. Something they are good at. And maybe they faced hardships but chose not to let it dictate their life. They chose THeir Dreams and goals and focused on them. Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. Work hard for your dreams and goals. Do what makes you proud and happy.

Take your time.

Don’t stop if you face failure when approaching your dreams.  Take a deep breath and try again.