Proposal Disaster

So, I went to a close relatives funeral last month. It was a loss for the whole family. What I did not realize was that through this hard time I will manage to laugh out loud. Yes, what I am about to disclose is a shocking insight into the Rishta (Proposal)/Aunty Culture in Pakistan.

One of the deadly places where the desi aunties hunt for girls for their sons is… Funerals. I know, SHOCKING, but apparently any gathering in our community calls for an instant quest of Rishta Hunt. Some lady apparently approached my Aunt and inquired  about some girl she saw at the funeral (to send a proposal) . Turns out, that “girl”  was me 😀 So my Aunt laughed it off and told her that not only was I married, I had a kid. So, much to her dismay, she continued on her hunt for the Perfect Bahu (Daughter-in-law).

My question to the society is where have you guys been?

Really. When my mom was actually looking for me to get married, it seemed like an endless battle! Seriously.  I think some girls are just lucky if they do get approached in a regular (well..) setting. I know people who have gotten married literally by being approached by some random aunty at a wedding.  The whole coming to the house, meeting the whole family individually, serving Tea & Samosas is just too demeaning.

For additional gossip please read Coffee, Tea or Samosa

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Office Politics

Late Friday night my boss calls me to tell me that he is removing my part of the presentation from the Meeting Agenda. Board of Directors’ Meeting that I was pretty excited for. Yes it would have been hard work, YES it would have taken a lot from me. But I’m not one to shy away from work! I thrive on responsibility and accountability and to be able to manage my time and different lists of To-Dos.

After an unbearably long weekend, this past week, I officially became a Cliché Adult. How you may ask? Well for starters:

  1. I hated waking up on MONDAY!
  2. I came to work and had grudges against my boss.
  3. I avoided all tasks and did NO work at all.
  4. Basically partied all day and got paid for it :p
  5. And whined about how I don’t get paid enough to do all the petty work I do around the office.

So yea. .. Is that how all these people feel? people i come across on a daily basis? people who don’t actually love their job…who hate going to work in the morning?  I always loved what I did. So I automatically enjoyed it. I never knew what it was like to feel nauseous at work. To HATE the people around you.  People you spend all day with. I spend more of my waking hours with them than I do with my baby. Tsk Tsk. This is SO NOT WHAT I thought it would be like. But…you gotta do what you gotta do. Just ignore it and hope it goes away.

I wish everyone gets to do their Dream Job. Life is too short to be wasted feeling grudges against people and to spend your days not having ACTUAL FUN!!

 

Not just a Mother

Yes. I am a mother. But I am a woman too. I want to tell all the mommies out there that once in a while it is OK to put yourself first.

As a fellow Mommy I understand that raising a baby is a tough! tough job. It requires a 25 hr shift (yea not 24…25) and requires you to be on your toes constantly. And why wouldn’t you be? It is not the most easiest thing to have a part of you walking out n about in the world. When my baby (now 2.5 yr old) was born, it was as if someone had ripped my heart out and given it a life of its own.

But if I were to be completely honest… after a while… the Me inside started speaking up too. She wanted a little independence, a little alone time. Or to be able to finish a movie in one Go. To apply makeup properly when going out…to be able to hold a conversation with your friend..Maybe even a career?

Why is it that every time I hint..not say..HINt at that thought people get offended? What I have figured out for Sure is that Most women feel this way but are too ashamed to admit. They are pushed into a Guilt trip by society..every time they try to convey their desire to have more to life than changing diapers n cooking.

The Alone Time

Out of all the things a woman changes about her lifestyle post children, the one that is missed mostttt is Alone time.

Wearing heels

The pre preg body

Uninterrupted gossip with friends

To me it seems like a thing of the past…. maybe like from prehistoric times? My God. Sometimes I spend most of my day waiting for the clock to strike 6pm and my husband to come home. That way atleast the child’s attention is divided. And it’s OK. Why do I feel bad about it all the time?

Trust me it is (more often than not) other Women who instill the guilt in you. Men rarely respond to such talks.

It is other mothers who are quick to pass judgements. Come ON ladies!! Show some #girllove. We are all in this together. We fight and struggle as if it is a competition. It IS OK to be yourself sometimes, cut back on the chores, relaxxx some. Enjoy the messy house or the dishes in the sink. Do what you think would make you feel better. It could be anything .. go shopping.. or surf facebook..or read a book.

And know this: if you are a happy person who is emotionally in touch with one self… you would definitly proove to be a better mommy! Find something you love and do it regularly to be refreshedddd and rejuvenate…

Find a fellow mommy friend to whine and complain to. We all once in a while need to drop the ‘I have my Sh*t together’ facade.

And one day hopefully.. it would be a thing of routine and not just ‘feminist talks’ as some people put it. It would be normal for moms to have a life of their own too, and it would be OK to leave ur 6 month old go to the salon and get a much needed facial. And maybe, we would stop judging different parenting methods.

Xox

I should go play soccer with my baby now. I think I am abusing the Me-time 😀

 

Inspired by a Post I saw on Facebook…