“Aunty Shame-y”

Thats right. That is what my To-Be 3 year old said to me when he saw Sunny Leone’s latest music video.

Over the weekend we were chilling and watching ETC (music channel) to see the upcoming movies that I could look fwd to…had the usual snacking thing going on.. and suddenly this song comes on “Hug Me”. Not to forget that besides the suggestive choreography, Sunny Item songs tend to acquire their inspiration from Beyoncé Music Videos.  So you can imagine the attire that Ms. Leone is in. How are people even accepting her? it is beyond my comprehension.

I frantically search for the DishTv Remote.. but before I have a chance to change the channel my baby says “Mamma Aunty Shame-y hain”. Shame-y is a word I taught him for all things shameful. Like not pulling your shirt up in public, or quickly wearing the diaper/undies after the bathroom trip. And sometimes if he doesn’t listen to me (guilty) in public, I say you are doing a SHAME-Y! 🙂 So yea. Basically a little Kid has a better judgement of what should be considered shameful as compared to adults. We watch these things and they don’t tend to bother us as much.. but now that I think about it… Remember the time when you would shy away when one of such scenes/music videos came up and your parents were in the room???

What has the world come to? I swear when I was younger and I used to watch all these random shows, I remember my mother used to FLIP OUT! she HATED them. She used to say “Beta ye sab deemagh kharab karta hai” (Daughter, these things will pollute your mind”. And my reply to it every time would be “Relax mom. It is just a show.”

But now that I am totally Adult-ing (or desperately trying to) I am like WTH! MOM WAS RIGHT. Good thing she doesn’t read this blog or she’d smirk and say “I told you so” I can so see it in my head. Maybe i’ll Skype and let her know still. It would make her happy 🙂 or not (will decide later).

Coming back to the point. It is true! we are generally born with a clean mind. But when you watch these things on a regular basis, you tend to be OK with it. The things that used to bother you before are a no big deal after a while. eEk. and I’m not even talking from a religious perspective. Think of all the mental,emotional impacts on your mind. and Your child’s mind..

I am not even gonna start on these Teenage Dramas that have so much sex, drugs and rock and roll that its mind boggling. I mean seriously? where DO high school students get the time and energy for all this drama? When I was in high school my biggest concern was my Eyebrows. Well that and my grades, and which colleges to apply to.. safety schools and what not. EVERY single dayyyy was spent worrying about pop quizzes and Literature Essays and AP exams. What schools are these? and what KIDsss are these? Why do they have such middle-aged problems in their teen ages? the little time that I GOt after school was spent chilling with my besties.. we did talk boys time to time but it wasn’t the center of our lives. much. simpler. times. i tell you.

I just hate that my son has to grow up in an environment that objectifies women like they do… I hope he gets to experience and practice the gentleman-y romance and old age chivalry. i’m afraid, like our generation is used to so much already, what would happen in the future? We don’t even object to anything anymore. Our minds are fed this ..this.. you know.. messed Up reality. and we eat it up like we don’t have any brains.

fingers crossed & hoping for a generation that maintains at least some morals passed down..

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To the woman who secretly cried

Now I get it, I understand

What bothered her

Need for Love, need for Attention, need for Pampering

Now I get it, I understand

Why there was no salt in the gravy, Why the rice was burnt, Why the sink was dirty

Now I get it, I understand

What drove her crazy

The resistance, the refusal to change, the running away

Now I get it, I understand

Why she suddenly cried

The Unfinished goals, the incomplete Dreams, the abandoned ambition.

 

Dreams Deadline

How many of us have set deadlines or time limits to our goals and dreams? (Raises hand-guilty)

I always presumed that there is a Cookie Cutter Timeline for all. Same size same shape..  but as I am growing older. . I realise that is not the case at ALL.

Really, it is OK to arrive later than someone else… it is OK to achieve your targets slightly off the timeline. Some things just come with age I guess. With people who have this sort of mentality, life is a constant state of battle. They feel “behind” and under estimate themselves.

But oh Dear, don’t you understand? Your real competition is YOU. You should be comparing yourself not to others but the previous version of yourself. I believe as long as you are striving to be a better person, better version of your self, you are Perfect.

Perfection doesnt have to be a point from where there is no where else to go. It should a place where you think “ok how can I make it better”. As long as you are trying, that is all that matters. The only difference between a loser and a winner is the # of tries. If you keep hustling, you will succeed. Doesn’t matter how long it takes. Don’t judge yourself based on how soon or fast another person “got it”.

God has written many different stories. Your’s doesn’t have to match your neighbors’, or friends or even your siblings. I know many twins. And though their faces are identical, they have led very different lives.

In the midst of comparisons, we have slowly forgot what we wanted. We are so overwhelmed with another person’s success that we start walking on their path. Wait. Wait and think about it, they are happy and successful because they are doing something they love. Something they are good at. And maybe they faced hardships but chose not to let it dictate their life. They chose THeir Dreams and goals and focused on them. Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. Work hard for your dreams and goals. Do what makes you proud and happy.

Take your time.

Don’t stop if you face failure when approaching your dreams.  Take a deep breath and try again.

 

Not just a Mother

Yes. I am a mother. But I am a woman too. I want to tell all the mommies out there that once in a while it is OK to put yourself first.

As a fellow Mommy I understand that raising a baby is a tough! tough job. It requires a 25 hr shift (yea not 24…25) and requires you to be on your toes constantly. And why wouldn’t you be? It is not the most easiest thing to have a part of you walking out n about in the world. When my baby (now 2.5 yr old) was born, it was as if someone had ripped my heart out and given it a life of its own.

But if I were to be completely honest… after a while… the Me inside started speaking up too. She wanted a little independence, a little alone time. Or to be able to finish a movie in one Go. To apply makeup properly when going out…to be able to hold a conversation with your friend..Maybe even a career?

Why is it that every time I hint..not say..HINt at that thought people get offended? What I have figured out for Sure is that Most women feel this way but are too ashamed to admit. They are pushed into a Guilt trip by society..every time they try to convey their desire to have more to life than changing diapers n cooking.

The Alone Time

Out of all the things a woman changes about her lifestyle post children, the one that is missed mostttt is Alone time.

Wearing heels

The pre preg body

Uninterrupted gossip with friends

To me it seems like a thing of the past…. maybe like from prehistoric times? My God. Sometimes I spend most of my day waiting for the clock to strike 6pm and my husband to come home. That way atleast the child’s attention is divided. And it’s OK. Why do I feel bad about it all the time?

Trust me it is (more often than not) other Women who instill the guilt in you. Men rarely respond to such talks.

It is other mothers who are quick to pass judgements. Come ON ladies!! Show some #girllove. We are all in this together. We fight and struggle as if it is a competition. It IS OK to be yourself sometimes, cut back on the chores, relaxxx some. Enjoy the messy house or the dishes in the sink. Do what you think would make you feel better. It could be anything .. go shopping.. or surf facebook..or read a book.

And know this: if you are a happy person who is emotionally in touch with one self… you would definitly proove to be a better mommy! Find something you love and do it regularly to be refreshedddd and rejuvenate…

Find a fellow mommy friend to whine and complain to. We all once in a while need to drop the ‘I have my Sh*t together’ facade.

And one day hopefully.. it would be a thing of routine and not just ‘feminist talks’ as some people put it. It would be normal for moms to have a life of their own too, and it would be OK to leave ur 6 month old go to the salon and get a much needed facial. And maybe, we would stop judging different parenting methods.

Xox

I should go play soccer with my baby now. I think I am abusing the Me-time 😀

 

Inspired by a Post I saw on Facebook…